transtrenderheartbreaker:

i hate this picture

It angers me so much

transtrenderheartbreaker:

i hate this picture

It angers me so much

I am kind of scared of most people and I avoid people who are into violence even on a theoretical level which is kind of a hard thing because that eliminates so many people

Unless I really trust someone I fear people who like violence or gore because the association I have with that is that they will choke me and try to kill me. Which is true because the people who have physically abused me were really into “killer aesthetics” and also they were emo

I never assume that I’ll have something in common with people who share my mental stuff because in the past that has been a mistake, people with mental illnesses can be mean or nice just like “regular” people and they will still deride you for your emotional issues even if they should understand

I don’t like to call myself the things that people have called me I don’t like to call myself crazy or a psycho because I know that I’m right about most things and even if I have delusions they pretty much only harm me and I mean I don’t want to call anyone crazy. There are crazy circumstances and crazy actions … The intrusive thoughts I get are crazy… But like a person as a whole isn’t crazy ya feel

sinbadism:

muskraturine:

Basically, “neurosis” is socially acceptable, whereas psychosis refers to people who should be arrested and/or killed for existing in public, etc.

Uh that’s not what I’ve seen in the medical books I have and thanks for telling me that I should be killed for…

Oh ok

Well idk psychiatrists go back and forth but if I ever lapsed in public like I used to I would probably be shot

Which is scary so I don’t want to think about it

What I meant about psychosis being an umbrella term is that it describes several fairly disparate things

I feel totally awful now thanks Reagan administration

I had psychotic episodes all through grade school and now people think I’m “cured” but I just got punished so severely for it that I’ve compartmentalized myself so much that I don’t know if that kid even exists anymore.

This is a sad feeling

muskraturine:

Basically, “neurosis” is socially acceptable, whereas psychosis refers to people who should be arrested and/or killed for existing in public, etc.

Uh that’s not what I’ve seen in the medical books I have and thanks for telling me that I should be killed for existing in public???? I’ve been on a 5150 quite a few times

Just cos I’ve learned to hide my psychosis doesn’t mean I’m “socially accepted”

The resources I have are basically that doctors tell me stuff then I google it and then I’m like “ok yeah” but like despite being described as psychotic and neurotic all I know about it is from wikipedia

like I’ve dealt with psychiatry my entire life I’ve always been called neurotic and psychotic I think i have a right to talk about these things

Most doctors don’t explain shit to us